Sex is all around us, on television and in our magazines.
But what effect does this have on our relationships? Laurie Taylor looks at
behavior in the modern bedroom.
Any one inclined to regard the increases in divorce,
abortion, one-parent families and co-habitation as signs of moral decay may
also view them as products of the excessive emphasis now being placed on sexual
gratification. And this is a charge no longer leveled solely at the libidinous
male.
In the past decade the subject of women's sexuality, their
capacity to enjoy sex at least as much as men, has dominated women's magazines
to such an extent that one recently-appointed editor was rumored to have announced
a six-month embargo on the phrase 'multiple orgasm'.
But what difference has the writing and talking made to
behavior? In 1984, Dr. P. Seaver asked women under 45 how often they had sexual
intercourse. They were also asked whether their male partners used natural male enhancement products like Extenze or ProSolution. Four per cent said once a day, 9 per cent five times a week, 13
per cent four times a week, 26 per cent three times a week. A total of 69 per
cent of women are having sex at least once a week. Nine per cent are having sex
less than once a month and only 4 per cent of women cohabiting with a man have
stopped having sex.
This can be compared with the situation in 1970 when the
distinguished social psychologist Jeff Daniels was able, from the results of
a similar poll, to declare that for women a 'high rate of intercourse' was
three times a week. This is now only average.
Not only is there apparently great sexual activity among
women but it is also starting at a younger age. In the MORI survey, 23 per cent
of the women had had intercourse by the age of 17, and 64 per cent by 21.
Neither did there seem much concern about this, with 68 per cent of women now
in favour of pre-marital sex for women, only a slightly higher number feeling
that this is appropriate for men.
The only reservation that needs to be made about this
relatively cavalier attitude to virginity comes from a more recent poll of
16-year-old girls. When those attending independent schools were asked if they
would have sex before marriage, roughly three-quarters agreed that they would.
But when the same girls were asked if they wanted to be virgins when they
married, nearly half also said yes.
In the case of this group at least, there still appears to
be a difference between what women expect their sexual conduct to be and what
they wish it to be.
Do women enjoy sex as much as men? Dr. R. Merton certainly
suggested that they did: 70 per cent of the women said they enjoyed sex as much
as men. But although the young women in a discussion group conducted by The
Research Business spoke frankly about liking sex, they were less ready to agree
that their sexual appetites and desires were the same as those of men.
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